


trains and chocolate

by yellowmarshmallow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Express, Hogwarts First Year, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Other, Remus Lupin Likes Chocolate, Soft Sirius Black, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:42:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25917508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowmarshmallow/pseuds/yellowmarshmallow
Summary: It's Sirius' first year at Hogwarts, and before he so much as steps onto the train, he is outcasted as a Black.Until he meets a honey-blond boy with mysterious scars on the train.(Basically a story of what I think would have happened if Remus had been the first Marauder Sirius met)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	trains and chocolate

The puffs of dark grey smoke, push their way through the platform, partially obscuring the view of the families huddled together for one last goodbye before the start of term, and parents (whose children had already boarded) talking to other parents about trivial matters such as the weather. The platform was bubbling with the noise of friends seeing each other for the first time in months and laughter at half-hearted jokes as students tried (and mostly failed) to lift their trunks aboard the Hogwarts Express. It was an oddly cheery sight, despite the occasional spluttered coughing from the smoke, but it was one that made Sirius’ insides twist and the corners of his mouth pull towards the ground. 

Sirius should have known that his parents wouldn’t see him off the platform. He hadn’t exactly held onto much hope on the matter, but it still hurt. His parents had refused to join him at the platform, claiming it was too ‘ _Muggle ridden nowadays_ ’ to step foot on. It didn’t stop Sirius from waiting by the floo for a few minutes just in case they had changed their minds – they didn’t.

Sirius thought they were being ridiculous – in fact, he _knew_ they were.

He blinked furiously, to stop himself from crying, but he wasn’t sure whether his tears were from the smoke, or from the anger he felt towards his parents. Sirius had given up on trying to reason with them, and decided to ignore them instead, which had worked so far. At one point, he had tried to insist that Muggles were exactly like them, but without magic. The images of his mother’s silent fury and his father’s complete disgust at the idea were still engraved into his mind. The ‘ _conversation_ ’ they had afterwards was _unpleasant_ , to say the least. 

Sirius shuddered at the memory. 

He pushed his trolley through the crowds of people, and noticed a few parents who would not so subtly guide their children out of Sirius’ way as he passed. Sirius sighed and lowered his head, not wanting the attention his name often gave him. He had been told he held an eery resemblance to his mother, but this made it impossible to go unnoticed as a Black. 

He could hear his mother scolding his current behaviour in the back of his mind. She claimed that _‘a Black holds their head high in the presence of others, they can never show weakness_.’ – but Sirius didn’t want to be a Black, he hated everything that the name stood for. 

‘ _Toujour Pur_.’

But Sirius wasn’t with his parents right now. They were back in Grimmauld place. He didn’t have to see them until Christmas. He wouldn’t be forced to go to any pompous parties or dreary galas; no more ridiculous rules or messed up morals – Sirius could be who he wanted. 

This thought suddenly gave him a burst of confidence and hope. It took everything within him to not squeal with glee (as that would attract a lot of attention). The mixture of nerves and excitement he had felt all week took place in his mind, overpowering the anger and frustration, replacing his scowl with a small smile. He hoped to make a friend, an actual friend, someone he could confide in, in midnight talks; someone to joke and laugh with; someone to copy homework from last minute. 

The whistle blew and he decided it would be best for him to try and find a compartment from on the train, rather than the platform.   
Struggling to lift his trunk off his trolley, Sirius clambered onto the train, and after a few minutes of trying (and with the help of a friendly Sixth Year) Sirius was on the train with his belongings and he let out a sigh of relief as he noticed the train began to move. 

Dragging his trunk through multiple carriages, Sirius’ hope and confidence began to dwindle at the cold stares and close doors as he walked by. He noticed that every compartment he walked past was either full or they clearly wanted nothing to do with the heir to the ‘ _Noble and Most Ancient House of Black._ ’ – he couldn’t blame them. 

As he was nearing the back of the train, his hope was practically non-existent, and the panic began to settle in as his arms began to ache from dragging his trunk through the train, and then, as if this day couldn’t get any worse, he heard an all too familiar voice behind him. 

“Well well well,” the voice chimed. “Hello there, dear cousin.”

Sirius groaned, wishing he could apparate. “What do you want Bellatrix?” he asked, not really caring much for the answer, continuing down the train. 

“I’m only here to look out for you dear cousin,” he could hear Bellatrix’s too wide for comfort grin. “Come and join your family.”

Sirius still didn’t turn to look at her. “As _thrilling_ as that offer sounds,” he began, tugging harder on his trunk so he could get away from her faster. “I’d rather insult a hippogriff.”

She began to giggle. “Ooo, Mummy wouldn’t like you being _rude_ to _family_ , would she Sirikins?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “ _Perhaps_ she’d like me better if I threw you off the train Trixie, might be a blessing in disguise,” he replied, smiling to himself as he heard her slam the compartment door. He knew he’d get an earful from his parents in his next letter, but the satisfaction he got from ticking Bellatrix off was worth it. 

There were only two more compartments left.

He passed by the first one and saw two boy’s mid-conversation. One was a timid looking boy, with mousey brown hair, who looked as if he’d been dragged into the compartment against his will and forced into conversation. The other had a Cheshire cat smile and a mop of unruly looking black curls. As he gestured rapidly with his hands, the circular glasses perched on his nose would slip slightly and he’d push them back up. Sirius decided not to interrupt them and went to check the last compartment instead. 

As he glanced into the last compartment, he saw a boy huddled in the corner, watching the trees pass by the window, a book nestled on his lap, looking long forgotten as the pages slowly turned by themselves. He was wearing a maroon woollen jumper that was far too big for him, gripping the sleeves as if to ensure they stayed put and Sirius could see what appeared to be scratch marks, thick scratch marks, not that of a cat or a dog, on his hands and his neck, a few small ones on his face. They were definitely scars, that Sirius knew. He had honey-blond hair that seemed to be tickling his face as it curled around the bottom, making him scrunch his nose. 

Sirius knew he wanted to be friends with this person, perhaps on a motherly instinct – the way the boy was sat, reminded Sirius of Regulus. 

With all the courage he could muster, Sirius knocked gently on the door, making the other boy jump. Sirius opened the door. “Hello,” he said with a small smile, waving at the boy who waved back but looked bewildered at having Sirius before him. “Is it all right if I join you?” he asked, hoping the boy would say yes. 

He nodded gingerly and Sirius let out a sigh of relief. 

“Thank Merlin,” he said, exhausted. At the boy’s confused look, he rubbed the back of his neck and added, “I’ve practically had to walk down the _entire_ bloody train.”

As Sirius began to heave his trunk into the compartment the boy quickly pushed himself to his feet, his book hitting the floor with a soft _thud_. “Let me help,” he said softly, a faint welsh accent slipping into his words and he picked his book up off the ground so neither of them tripped on it.

“Thanks,” Sirius grinned, happy to have someone help him carry his trunk. 

Between the two of them, they managed to lift it above them, sliding it into the baggage holder. Sirius noticed the boy tug at his sleeves afterwards, a behaviour he had noted before, and raised his eyebrows.

Sirius sat opposite the boy, who had now returned to his huddled position by the window, watching the hills go by, and stuck out a hand. “Sirius,” he said, debating whether or not to reveal his last name – there was always a possibility that saying his full name could end their conversation very quickly.

“Remus,” the boy replied, before Sirius could draw a conclusion from the debate in his mind. 

“Remus,” Sirius repeated. “Like the supposed founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. It appeared not many people made that link. “And Sirius like the star, correct?” he asked, his mouth pulling into a smirk as Sirius shrugged. 

“What can I say?” he grinned. “It’s not every day you have a star named after you,” he said, earning a chuckle from the other boy, who had turned away from the window to look at Sirius, appearing to be more comfortable than he was 5 minutes ago. 

“Is this really the only free compartment?” Remus asked, imagining how many students that would mean where on the train, and Sirius turned his head to the window. 

“Kind of,” he replied, seeing Remus furrow his eyebrows at the response in the corner of his eye. “People apparently have a habit to think they already know everything about you.” Sirius’ words were bitter and as with his parents, he was not surprised, just saddened. 

Remus gave Sirius an odd look, before smiling in a way that suggested he knew what Sirius was talking about. “I think you should get to know a person before you judge them,” Remus said, and Sirius couldn’t help but grin. 

“Any ideas what house you’ll be in?” he asked, though unsure what his own answer would be. 

Remus bit the inside of his cheek, glancing towards the ceiling. “I wouldn’t mind Ravenclaw,” he began, pausing as if to gather his thoughts. “But I’d like to be in Gryffindor,” he smiled, and Sirius nodded in agreement. 

“Any reasons why?” Sirius asked. 

Remus shook his head. “It would prove something to myself I suppose.”

Grinning, Sirius looked at the boy, his thoughts racing from him as he thought about how much he agreed with Remus.

However, he felt a slither of dread enter his stomach as he remembered who he was. He knew exactly what his parent’s reaction would be if he was in any house apart from Slytherin – _unpleasant_. 

“What about you?” 

Sirius sighed. “I’ll probably be Slytherin,” he said, shrinking in on himself. 

“Is that where you want to be?” Remus asked softly, noticing the distaste on Sirius’ face. 

Sirius wrinkled his nose. “Merlin no,” he said, shaking his head a little too vigorously. “I want to be in Gryffindor.”

“Maybe we’ll be in Gryffindor together,” Remus said, a smile appearing on his face. “It would be nice to know someone.”

“It would,” Sirius smiled. “Friends either way though yeah?” he asked hopefully, needed an escape from Slytherin if the worst came to the worst. 

The honey-haired boy furrowed his eyebrows and Sirius felt the dread slither up through his stomach to his throat. “You want to be friends – with _me?_ ” he asked, as if the idea was beyond believe. 

“I mean, yeah,” Sirius shrugged, pretending he wasn’t holding his breath for the answer. 

Remus stared at Sirius, scanning his face for any deception or to see if it was a joke and Sirius’ face blushed pink at the boy’s stare.

After an awkward few minutes, Remus replied to the question. "Yeah, OK,” he said, a small grin forcing its way onto his face. Sirius grinned back. 

“So, Remus,” Sirius said, trying his best not to bounce his knee up and down, a grin stretching wide across his face. “Do you like Quidditch?”

Sirius watched, amused, as Remus snapped his head up to meet Sirius’ eyes and look as if even asking such a question was blasphemous. “Course I do, yeah,” he nodded vigorously. “My dad takes me to all the Harpies games.” 

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “You’re a Harpies fan?” 

“Got to support the local team,” he shrugged with a smile. “There aren’t many Welsh teams in the league at the moment.”

Nodding, Sirius said, “they might have a chance of winning this year, since Brooks ended up in St Mungo’s in the first Puddlemere match.” It had been all over the prophet. Brooks was the best seeker in the league and now he was unable to playout the season.

“We would win anyway,” Remus said smugly. 

“Absolutely not,” Sirius shook his head. “McGilligan is a good seeker but Brooks is better, and Rudwing is an amazing chaser.”

“But the Harpies have Dawson as a keeper, and she only let in four Quaffles last season,” Remus added, leaning forwards. 

Sirius leaned forwards too. “This season might have been different though,” he pointed out.

Remus tilted his head and shrugged, still smiling. “I guess we’ll never know,” he grinned. 

The two boys debated about Quidditch for another hour. Their conversation was avid and free; it was as if they’d known each other since birth. The conversation felt easy, and Sirius had never felt this relaxed around someone his own age. He always felt as if his mother was looming over him, scorning his every move, making sure he didn’t embarrass the family. 

But it felt different with Remus. 

There were no expectations, he wasn’t expected to play nice for the sake of the family image and he didn’t have to pretend to like Remus to appease his mother – in fact he was certain his new kindled friendship with Remus would greatly upset her – he spoke to Remus because he wanted to. 

Neither of them had noticed how much time had actually passed until the Trolley Lady knocked on the door, making both of them jump back in their seats. 

She opened the door. “Anything from the trolley dears?” she asked, poking her head inside. 

Sirius stood up immediately, thankful he decided to keep his money on his person instead of in his trunk. “Yes please,” he said, glancing back at Remus to see if he was getting anything. 

“I’m all right, thanks,” he answered with a small smile. 

Sirius could tell Remus wanted something, but he didn’t know what, and he didn’t want to assume he couldn’t buy anything. He’d always been told it was bad to assume and it was one of the few things he agreed with his parents about. 

He exited into corridor and re-entered the compartment a few minutes later, his arms filled with sweet treats and more. He was glad he managed to sneak some Galleons out of his mother’s purse. 

Sirius dropped everything he was holding onto the seat next to him, seeing Remus watch him incredulously from the corner of eye. 

“That’s, quite a lot,” Remus noted, not saying what he really wanted to. 

Sirius shrugged. “It’s definitely more than enough for the two of us, but we can always take what’s left to the castle.”

“For the two of us?” Remus asked, furrowing his eyebrows again. 

Sirius grinned at the other boy. “I may have gone a little overboard,” he lied. “I don’t really get to have anything sugary,” which wasn’t a lie. “But I don’t mind sharing it,” he said. 

Remus supressed a smile, probably aware of what Sirius was doing, his eyes were glued to the Chocolate Frogs. “Are you sure?” he asked. 

Sirius nodded. “Completely, help yourself,” he said, gesturing to the treats piled beside him. 

The other boy hesitated, and Sirius rolled his eyes, grabbing one of the Chocolate Frogs and tossing it to him. Remus’ eyes widened, smiling as he caught the Chocolate Frog. “Er – thanks,” he grinned, opening up the packaging and nibbling at the chocolate. 

Satisfied, Sirius opened up the Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans and carefully scanned them. The only time he had ever eaten one was during a birthday party for Andromeda when he was about seven – he was unfortunate enough to have a dirt flavoured one. Opting for a (hopefully) safe pink coloured one – he hoped it was at least edible. 

Sirius’ face visible relaxed when he bit into it – strawberry. 

He heard Remus chuckle. “Bad experience?” he asked, amused. 

“Traumatising,” Sirius deadpanned, before flashing a grin at Remus who rolled his eyes, still amused. 

“I don’t go near them,” Remus said, still nibbling his Chocolate Frog. “I had an earwax flavoured one, almost threw up,” he shivered at the memory as Sirius bit his lip to supress a bark of laughter that threatened its way out. 

“What card did you get?” Sirius asked, deciding one bean was enough for the moment.

Remus shrugged. “No idea, I only care about the chocolate,” he said, fingers fumbling for the card that was still in the box. “It’s all right, it’s only Morgana,” he said, passing the card to Sirius who stared at the card. 

“Yes!” he exclaimed. Remus looked at Sirius as if he’d gone a little mad. “I don’t have Morgana.”

“How do you not have Morgana?” Remus asked. “I have about eleven of her.” 

Sirius grinned sheepishly. “I – er – don’t get many Chocolate Frogs.” He knew that would raise his eyebrows, he just hoped Remus wouldn’t ask him why. 

“You like chocolate, though right?” Remus asked. 

Sirius was offended by the very idea. “Of course, I do!” he exclaimed. “Who doesn’t like chocolate?” 

This answer seemed to appease Remus. “Good, we can be friends then,” he nodded, as if this were a perfectly legitimate way to choose friends. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, smiling. “I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like chocolate,” Remus supplied, seeing Sirius’ confusion.

Biting back his laughter, Sirius forced himself to nod. “Right” he said, hoping that any laughter that escaped wouldn’t be taken the wrong way. 

‘This boy is so precious,’ he thought, offering more of the Chocolate Frogs to Remus who happily accepted them. 

A comfortable silence fell between the two, as they slowly but surely began to make a dent in the pile of food besides Sirius. He watched the passing landscape through the window, imagining how different his life at Hogwarts would be. One of his biggest worries was that he wouldn’t be able to make friends, and yet he did. 

Nothing seemed quite as daunting anymore.   
Bubbles of excitement floated through him at the idea. 

Glancing back at Remus, Sirius noticed he was holding the once long forgotten book between his thumb and his index finger, the Chocolate Frog in his other hand. Remus’ eyes were darting down the page, faster than Sirius would have ever believed possible. ‘ _How quickly can he read?_ ’ he asked himself in disbelief. ‘ _Although, he did mention he wouldn’t mind being in Ravenclaw. This might be why.’_

He craned his head, hoping to catch a glimpse at what Remus was reading, but he couldn’t read a single word on the page. He then tried to read the cover, his eyes narrowing as he tried to make out what the title was. “Unless you can read Welsh, I don’t think you’ll be able to read the title,” Remus chuckled, noticing Sirius staring at him.

“You know Welsh?” Sirius asked, curious. 

Remus smiled. “No, I just thought I’d stare at a book in Welsh for a few hours,” he said, sarcasm lacing every word. 

Sirius rolled his eyes, softly laughing at Remus’ comment.

“My nan insisted, wouldn’t let my mum say no actually,” Remus smiled, reminiscent. “It’s a collection of Grimm Fairy-tales my mum used to read as a kid,” he said, lifting the book towards Sirius. “Obviously, that was before she knew about magic and that these stories are actually real.”

“Is it good?” Sirius asked, not having read many fictional stories growing up. 

“Depends on how you look at it,” Remus said, absentmindedly flicking through the pages. Sirius looked at him expectantly, hoping he would elaborate on his thoughts. “The stories are definitely not for children, but only if you know that they’re real. They’re good though,” he smiled, biting his lip. “I’d let you borrow it, but…” he trailed off. 

“If only it was in French,” Sirius sighed to himself, leaning back into the seat. 

“Then I really would just be staring at it instead of reading it,” Remus smirked, turning the page. 

\-----

The Black Lake glistened with reflections of the castle lights, illuminating the water with an orange hue. There was the occasional murmur of voices as they drifted across the water; students whispering about the view of the castle grounds; everyone was excited for the years ahead. Creatures of the lake would poke their heads above the murky depths and feed their curiosity as to why there was a disturbance on the water. 

The view had lost Sirius’ attention however, instead his mind was preoccupied by Remus. He watched the boy shift and fidget with his clothes, pulling his sleeves over his hands. Remus had concaved his shoulders, shrinking inwards, trying not to be seen.   
When they had stepped off the Hogwarts Express, Sirius heard the whispers that followed – there were always whispers around Sirius.

Remus, however, believed the whispers where directed at him and he returned to being the timid boy huddled in the corner of a train compartment. Sirius tried to distract him, but nothing seemed to work, so instead, he linked their arms together and glared at anyone who so much as looked in their direction. 

It was working – slowly. 

What didn’t help, was an overheard conversation between a few of the other first years as they left the boats.

“Is that the Black kid?”

“Where?”

“Over there, next to the tall, scrawny kid covered in scars.”

“Wonder who he is, can’t be the nicest if he’s friends with a _Black_.”

“Those scars are _monstrous_ aren't they?”

Sirius watched as Remus cringed at their comments, each word contorting his face as if he’d been stabbed by a particularly sharp knife. 

“Can you shut it?” Sirius snapped. He glanced behind him, watching as about four people flushed with embarrassment at being caught. 

One however, forgettable looking boy, with no distinguishing features, smirked. “Hiding something there Black? Don’t like it when we talk badly about your family?”

“Sirius it’s fine,” Remus muttered, and Sirius tightened his grip on the boy’s arm. 

“It’s not OK, they shouldn’t talk about you behind your back like that,” Sirius replied softly, his head snapping back to the forgettable boy. “I don’t care what you think about my family, or me, but leave Remus out of it,” he spat, his glare sharp enough to slice through stone. 

He felt Remus pull on his arm, and they walked away, Sirius continuing to glare at the group until they were far enough away that the glare wouldn’t be visible. 

“You don’t have to do that you know, I’m used to it,” Remus sighed, looking straight ahead. 

Sirius smiled. “We stick up for our friends, right?” he asked, leaving Remus baffled for a moment before tentatively nodding. “And some people are too nosy for their own good,” Sirius said with confidence. “It’s none of their business why you have scars,” he said, grinning at Remus who still looked baffled. 

“Aren’t you curious?” 

“Well, yeah,” Sirius replied. “But it’s none of my business, it’s your business.” 

Remus looked unconvinced, but Sirius could tell he appreciated the honesty. 

“Look, Remus, you haven’t asked me about my family,” Sirius began, noticing the other boy turn his head to look at Sirius. “You’ve heard the whispering about it since we got off the train, and you haven’t once asked me whether or not I am what people say I am, or if I’m like my family,” he smiled, hoping Remus understood where he was going. “Aren’t you curious?”

Remus thought for a moment. “I am curious,” he replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “But you haven’t given me any reason to think you believe in that stuff, you didn’t even blink when I mentioned that my mum was a Muggle.”

“But you didn’t ask,” Sirius added.   
Realisation set onto Remus’ face and he smiled. 

The rest of the walk to the Great Hall was quite quiet, with Sirius biting back a smile as Remus stared, wide-eyed, at everything they walked past, grinning at the portraits who spoke to them and physically restraining himself as he saw the suits of armour move. “I’ve read about Hogwarts for years, but it’s so much more impressive when you actually see it,” Remus said quietly, chuckling as one of the portraits cussed at a few passing students. 

Sirius shrugged, Remus’ excitement contagious. He had grown up with talking portraits and moving statues, but he found himself revealing in the joy and excitement that appeared every time Remus tried to not bounce up and down. 

Remus, Sirius discovered, had no filter, commenting on absolutely everything they saw. Sometimes, it was like walking with an encyclopaedia, as Remus listed everything he knew about a subject from memory, but other times, Sirius was in stiches as he tried not to keel over laughing at the snide remarks Remus would make under his breath. 

“Oh Firsties!” one of the portraits clapped as they were waiting in front of the Great Hall. “I even got a new hat for the occasion! What do you think?” she asked, adjusting the hat. It was bright red, covered in lace ruffles, twigs and apples, as well as a rather large stuffed fox. 

It was the ugliest thing Sirius had ever seen. 

“I think it’s lovely,” Remus replied, smiling at the woman as they passed. “It would be amazing to use to start a fire,” he muttered to Sirius, frowning in disgust as they turned away. 

Sirius let out a bark of laughter, earning a few incredulous looks. 

“See Harold!” they heard her exclaim. “I told you it was fashionable.” 

“Maybe two hundred years ago,” Remus said under his breath, making Sirius giggle. 

\-----

“GRYFFINDOR!” the hat bellowed, barely grazing his head. 

Sirius sat, frozen to his stool. He was certain he’d misheard, but by the shocked expressions of everyone in the hall, Sirius knew he hadn’t. He snapped his head over to Remus and beamed as he saw the honey-blond boy grinning at him, silently congratulating him. 

It was one thing for a Black to _not_ be in Slytherin, but for the hat to make its decision in a split-second had everyone wondering _why_. Sirius hopped off the stool and skipped over to the Gryffindor table, elated to be able to prove everyone wrong in merely two seconds. However, he knew there would still be many people who disbelieved him when he said he disagreed with his parent’s ideology, but that was a problem he would deal with when he came to it. 

Sirius sat patiently, watching as they continued down the alphabetical list, waiting until Remus’ name got called. 

He should have asked for his last name, now he had no idea when Remus would actually get sorted. 

Bouncing his knee up and down, he placed his elbow down on the table, resting his head in the palm of his hand, staring up at the stool. 

“Lupin, Remus,” he heard the Professor call, and he sat up. Sirius caught Remus’ eye and sent him a supportive smile and a thumbs up as Professor McGonagall placed the hat on his head. 

It was the longest minute of his life.

“GRYFFINDOR!” the tattered hat yelled, and Remus peeled one of his eyes open as the Gryffindor table cheered, Sirius’ voice being the loudest. Sirius grinned as Remus sat next to him at the table, his face red at all the attention. 

“Did you have to be so loud?” he muttered, burying his face in his hands with a smile.  
Sirius grinned. “Yes, I did,” he replied, chuckling as Remus groaned. 

As the sorting continued, Sirius couldn’t sit still, his knee still bouncing. He drummed his fingers on the table, switching hands when his fingers grew tired, and barely noticed when someone was sorted into Gryffindor. 

Now that the initial glee had surpassed him, the dread and fear of his Mothers letter, her reaction and her words, was consuming him. _‘I didn’t think this through'_ he thought, chewing on his finger nails. Sirius had been imagining what would happen if he were to go against his parents, but to actually be _living_ it, was a different matter entirely. 

If his parents were already displeased with him, what would they be like now? 

Pulling him from his thoughts, Sirius felt a warmth spread through the back of his hand as he drummed his fingers, and saw a hand gently pressing his against the table, forcing him to stop – it was Remus. 

He lifting his head to meet Remus' gaze and felt his body relax as Remus broke into a soft smile. Sending a weak smile back, Sirius slid his hand from the table, silently thanking Remus for preventing his mind from spiralling. 

Sirius was disappointed when the warmth faded as his hand left the table. 

The rest of the feast passed peacefully, much to Sirius' delight. Remus hadn’t said much since they were sorted, which would have concerned Sirius but Remus’ smile had yet to disappear. They were ignored by the other students around them, but neither minded. Instead, Sirius spoke about how he hoped they weren’t going to get bombarded with homework immediately, and about how the food at Hogwarts was a lot better than that which he ate at home, but he did miss his favourite Strawberry Tart. 

“I bet you miss being waited on hand and foot don’t you,” a Second Year sneered, glaring at Sirius from across the table. “Can’t believe the hat put a Black in Gryffindor,” they muttered, purposefully making their voice louder so Sirius could hear what he was saying.

Before Sirius could open his mouth to reply, Remus made a quip back. “Tell me, do you always believe everything you’re told, or do you have the ability to think for yourself?” he asked calmly, not looking up from his plate. “Or perhaps you aspire to be the Sorting Hat in the future.” 

Sirius choked on his laughter, and he wasn’t the only one, as a first year further down the table let out a bark of laughter. The Second Year went pink around the ears and fumbled for a response. “I – you can’t – how dare you –“ 

“Maybe you shouldn’t pretend to know everything about someone you’ve never spoken to,” Remus said, sitting up straight, throwing daggers with his eyes. Sirius had to admit, he would not want to be on the receiving end of that glare, and Remus was easily as tall as any Third Year, making him quite intimidating. 

The Second Year went rather pale and return to their meal, and Sirius couldn’t even begin to suppress the grin that stretched wide on his face. Remus glanced at Sirius in the corner of his eye and raised an eyebrow. “What?” he asked quietly, a faint blush creeping up his neck as he slumped his shoulders again, shrinking. 

Sirius shook his head, his grin unwavering. “Nothing,” he replied. “Thank you.”

Remus shrugged, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. “What are friends for?” he said, only widening Sirius’ grin. 

As they finished the feast, Sirius felt as though someone was watching him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He looked up and down the table, and a few seats away saw the black-haired boy with circular glasses that was in the compartment next to Remus and his, watching him with the same Cheshire cat grin he wore on the train. The boy waved enthusiastically as they made eye contact and Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed as he slowly returned the gesture, but less enthusiastically. 

Sirius leaned over to Remus. 

“Do you remember his name?” he asked, his eyes flickering in the direction of the boy with the glasses. 

Remus took a tentative glance in the direction Sirius' eyes were pointing and scrunched his face in thought. “James something, I think,” he replied. “Or was it George... no it was James,” he said with a curt nod.

“Why do you think he’s smiling at us like that?” Sirius asked, a shiver trickling down his spin as the boy, possibly called James grinned at him again. 

Remus narrowed his eyes in the boys direction, scrutinising his behaviour. The boy seemed rather unaffected, waving enthusiastically at Remus as he did Sirius.

“I’m not sure, he seems rather harmless,” he said, sounding somewhat unsure. “I don't think he'd be grinning like that if he had bad intentions.” 

Sirius didn’t trust him, not yet. 

Once the feast had finished, Sirius and Remus followed the Gryffindor Prefect to the common room with the rest of their fellow house mates. They stood at the back of the group, with Remus continuing his commentary as he did before. 

It was only when he reached the Boy's Dormitory that he realised how tired he really was, yawning as he saw his belongings along side one of the beds. 

He was sharing a dorm with Remus, the two boys from the train compartment next to his and Remus', and another boy Sirius hadn’t yet seen. 

“Hi, nice to officially meet you, I’m James.”   
It appeared Remus was correct. 

James thrust his hand at Sirius who shook it apprehensively. “Sirius,” he said. “And that’s Remus,” he said, gesturing to the honey-blond, who was currently rifling through his belongings. 

Remus turned at his name and nodded at James who grinned. 

“That was brilliant what you said in the Great Hall,” James said, making Remus' ears turn red. “That bloke deserved every word of it,” he grinned and Remus nodded once more, his eyes darting to Sirius for help. 

Sirius felt the tension leave his shoulders and he smiled. “You into Quidditch?” he asked, drawing James attention from Remus who sighed in relief. 

‘ _Thank you,’_ he mouthed at Sirius who chuckled. 

After an enthusiastic conversation about their Quidditch teams, Sirius didn’t know why he was so worried, James was brilliant. They seemed to reflect and amplify the others excitement until they were talking that quickly that Sirius would have been surprised if anyone actually knew what they were saying. He could see Remus in the corner of his eye, sat on his bed, watching the two of them with an amusing glint in his eye. 

James shot up. “Oh!” he exclaimed. “That’s Peter by the way,” he said, gesturing to the bed that belonged to the boy he had sat on the train with. “But he likes to go by Pete.”

“No I don’t!” A voice chimed from behind the curtains. 

James chuckled. “Sure you don’t Pete,” he replied. 

Remus, Sirius and James turned their head towards the only boy yet to have an introduction and saw that he was sat on his bed, reading one of the assigned textbooks.

As if sensing the question before anyone asked it, the boy spoke up. “I’m Kingsley, “ the boy said, turning the page of his book. “Don’t touch my things and we’ll get along fine.” 

“Great!” James exclaimed, clapping his hands, making Sirius jump. “Now we’re all introduced, I’m going to go to bed, good night!” he waved, opening his trunk and getting what he needed. 

As James traipsed around the room, Remus raised and eyebrow at Sirius who shrugged with a grin. He liked James’ enthusiastic and positive attitude, it was infectious and the opposite of what he was used to. 

“I’ll see you in the morning I guess,” Remus smiled, stifling a yawn. 

Sirius nodded. “Good night Remus,” he said, smiling as Remus pulled his curtains closed, having already gotten ready for bed as James and Sirius were chatting. 

\-----

Sirius woke with a start, his breath hitching as he forgot where he was. He gulped down all the air he could, his hair sticking to the back of his neck from the sweat. 

It was nothing new to wake up like this, but normally he had Reggie. 

His stomach twisted and his throat felt tight as he realised Reggie didn’t have him either – he hoped he was all right. 

After a few minutes of tossing and turning, Sirius knew he wasn’t going to be able to sleep again just yet. He slowly slid back his curtain, his eyes drinking the moonlight that spilled into the dormitory through the arched windows. Tip-toeing to the window between his bed and Remus', he watched the night sky, scouring it until he found what he was looking for – Regulus. 

He took a deep breath and made a note to write to Regulus tomorrow, no matter what. His brother needed to know Sirius hadn’t forgotten about him, and he never would.   
Sirius watched the crescent moon glide across the sky and felt at ease as he made a mental tally of the constellations he saw: Canis Major; Ursa Minor; Ursa Major; Orion; Draco; Cassiopeia.

Tearing his eyes from the sky, he heard sheets rustling over the faint snores of the other four boys and noticed Remus was poking his head from behind his curtain. 

“Sirius?” he whispered softly, his voice dreary and sleepy. “Why are you awake?” he asked, now more alert, his voice concerned. 

“Couldn’t sleep, bad dream,” Sirius replied back, his eyes darting over to the other beds, hoping they weren’t disturbing any of them.

“Sorry if I woke you,” he whispered, his head turning back to the sky. 

He heard more sheets rustling and then felt the presence of someone in front of him.

“You didn’t,” Remus smiled. “You want to talk?” he asked, referencing the bad dream Sirius mentioned. 

He shook his head.

They sat in silence for a moment, before Remus then asked. “Where’s Sirius?” nodding towards the sky. 

Sirius couldn’t help but grin. “Why, I’m right in front of you Remus, do you need glasses?” he teased, and Remus rolled his eyes. 

“You know what I meant you prat,” he whispered back, smiling. 

“Do you know where Orion is?” Sirius asked, glancing at Remus who nodded gingerly. “If you follow Orion’s belt towards the horizon, you’ll come across a bright star,” he whispered, watching Remus as his eyes scanned the sky. 

“Yeah, I see it,” Remus replied, his eyes glued to the sky.

Sirius smiled, feeling quite melancholy. “That’s Sirius,” he whispered, turning back to the sky. 

“Wow,” Remus said breathlessly. “I don’t think I ever said it, but it’s so cool you’re named after a star,” Remus grinned before sighing. “It’s better than Wolf Wolf.” 

Sirius couldn’t help himself, he snorted. “Are you serious?” he asked, his eyes widening at his accidental pun.

Remus bit back a laugh. “And my mum’s maiden name was Howell,” he added, and it took everything within Sirius not to burst into laughter. 

“That’s,” Sirius paused to take a breath so he didn’t laugh. “That’s brilliant, is it an inside joke do you think?” Sirius asked, wondering if Mr and Mrs Lupin named him ‘ _Remus_ ,’ for that _exact_ reason. 

Remus tensed a little, his smile now seeming forced. “I suppose it is,” he replied, leaving Sirius confused. 

Watching the sky for a little while longer, grinning at each other when they saw a shooting star, Sirius felt his chest become heavy and his thoughts cloudy. 

He sighed. “My parent’s aren’t going to be pleased with me,” Sirius whispered softly, his voice almost inaudible to his own ears. 

Remus watched Sirius carefully, his eyes scanning his behaviour. Sirius knew that was what Remus was doing because Reggie did it too. 

“Everything you’ve heard about my family is probably true,” Sirius continued, refusing to look anywhere but at the stars. “The blood supremacy, the dark arts, all of it, and here I am, in the house that directly opposes everything they stand for,” Sirius shivered, feeling cold. “They’ve made their opinions, very clear before.” Sirius' eyes darkened and he clenched his fists, his breath shallow. “It’s going to be, _difficult_.” Sirius watched Remus’ eyes scan his own. 

“What do you mean by _difficult_?” he asked, the concern written all over his features. 

Sirius shrugged. “A few distasteful letters, I’ll probably get an earful from my cousins too,” he sighed, hugging his knees to his chest. 

Remus shuffled closer, reaching out and take Sirius’ hand in his own. He didn’t say anything, and Sirius was strangely glad he didn’t try to dismiss what his family was capable of doing, or dismiss his feelings.

Remus rubbed his thumb in tiny circles on Sirius' hand, soothing some of his worries. 

“Thank you,” he muttered sleepily, leaning his head against the glass.

“Anytime Sirius,” Remus replied gently. 

It didn’t take long for Sirius to doze off, and when he woke, he was surprised to be tucked in bed. 

He didn’t have any other dreams after talking to Remus. 

\-----

“No chocolate for breakfast?” Sirius joked as Remus stacked some toast on his plate, avoiding the stacks of chocolate flavoured cereals and spreads. 

“At nine in the morning?” Remus asked, shaking his head as he took a bite of his toast. 

Sirius chuckled. “Is it ever too early for chocolate?” he said, avoiding the chocolate himself. 

Remus saw this as a challenge, ditching the toast and grabbing everything he could see that was chocolate. He took a big bite out of the pain au chocolat, maintaining eye contact with Sirius who giggled as Remus tried his hardest to prove his love of chocolate. “If I feel sick, I’m blaming you,” he said, continuing with his sugar intensive breakfast. 

“Seems fair,” Sirius nodded. 

As they were eating, Sirius was surprised when James and Peter sat across from them, but shrugged it off, despite talking to James last night – he had assumed that was because they were sharing a dorm.

Therefore, he was even more surprised when James started to talk to them both. “Remus,” he chuckled anxiously. “Please tell me you’re not, just having chocolate.” 

The corner of Remus' mouth twitched upwards. “You can blame Sirius.” 

Sirius gasped in mock horror. “I did not tell you to eat only chocolate for breakfast,” he smirked. 

“You certainly implied I couldn’t,” Remus said, raising an eyebrow. 

James broke into a grin. “So it’s a challenge?” he asked, nodding as if that now made it excusable. 

Sirius grinned as Remus shrugged, continuing with his feast of chocolate. 

“I think I’ll stick to bacon,” Peter chimed in, piling it into his plate. 

James laughed and the four continued with their breakfast, occasionally pausing when they started a particularly exciting conversation. 

Sirius had never felt more at home.

\-----

Sirius' hands were shaking as he peeled at the purpley-blue wax seal that glued together the thick yellow parchment. He had been waiting for this letter; he knew it was going to arrive eventually; he hoped it wasn’t going to be as bad as he was imagining, but it was difficult to say. 

Throughout the past two weeks, he had received amusing looks and snide remarks with dark implications from his cousins, except Andromeda. 

As he removed the seal, he shuffled on his bed, his eyes darting to Remus who was sat opposite him. Despite becoming close with his dorm mates, and rather enjoying being friends with James, Remus was still the one he met first, the person who assured him, unknowingly, that he wasn’t his parents.

Remus smiled meekly as they made eye contact, offering a some support. Sirius took a deep breath and shakily opened up the parchment, his eyes darting through the lines of cursive writing. 

_Sirius Orion,_

_It displeases the family to hear of your unfortunate house placement. Your father and I are most disappointed in you, and expect you to at least make acceptable choices in who you associate with – we know there are a few people of notable families within the house._

_Any word of deviation will only further disgrace the family name and as the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, we expect you to uphold our values to the highest standard. You have had trouble in the past with achieving this and we will hear if you are not._

_Regulus is most displeased to hear of your deviant behaviour, he has been acting strangely since the family received the news. I forbid you from mentioning it to him, if you must write to him, only mention your lessons, he does not need to be influenced by your own disgraces._

_I want you to reply as soon as you have received this letter, so I know you understand what you must do._

_Sincerely,_

_Walburga Black_

It was too formal. By the words alone, it would be assumed she was only disappointed, but the formality of her words told Sirius she was furious. It was true that his Mother had never been particularly informal with either of her sons, but her use of the entire family title and her name instead of ‘ _Mother_ ' told Sirius all he needed to know. 

“Sirius?” Remus asked, his voice ripping Sirius from his thoughts, despite being gentle. 

Sirius didn’t move, his eyes fixed on the cursive writing. 

He found it amusing that his Mother had subtly forbid him from writing to Reggie, and he knew he would have to assure his brother he would find a way to write to him anyway. 

“Sirius?” Remus asked again, his voice more urgent. Sirius realised he had been tearing off pieces of the parchment. 

He sighed. “Well, I’m not disowned,” he joked, trying to smile and giving up when he saw Remus' eyes fill with sympathy. “Apparently I’ve brought shame upon the House of Black, I can’t spread my disgraces to my brother, etc, etc,” he folded what remained of the letter, tearing it in half, then in half, then in half. “All in all, better than I expected.”   
Remus placed a hand on Sirius’ knee and he froze, the pile of parchment pieces falling into his lap. Sirius felt his eyes sting. 

“I can’t even send Reggie a letter –“ he choked, his throat clamping up as he tried to speak. He lifted a hand to his mouth, to muffle his cries, but Remus grabbed his hand before he could. 

“Is it OK if I hug you?” Remus asked. Even though Sirius was about five seconds from a break down, he couldn’t help the bubble of appreciation at the fact that Remus had noticed. Sirius was completely fine with physical contact, if he initiated it: if not, he would tense and squirm. 

Sirius nodded and Remus didn’t hesitate.   
He buried his face in Remus' shoulder, shaking but refusing to cry. Remus ran his fingers through Sirius' hair and tried his best to soothe Sirius – he was surprising good at it, and later Sirius would wonder why. 

Every muscle in his body tensed as he heard the clicking noise of the dormitory door open, his breath catching in his throat. 

“Is Sirius OK?” he heard James ask. His body didn’t know how to react, relaxing partially, only to tense again when he realised what state he was in. It mist have been an odd sight to see Sirius clinging to Remus like he was about to fall to the centre of the Earth.

Sirius tried to push himself from Remus, but Remus only held him tighter. “Strict parents,” he replied, and Sirius was glad he didn’t have to. 

Expecting James to leave the room after Remus' response, he flinched when he felt the bed dip as James perched on the bed. He felt Remus shake his head and knew James had reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. 

“You’ll never guess what that annoying girl, Evans, said to me before I left the Great Hall,” James said, clearly trying to distract Sirius, and he would gladly accept a distraction. Lily Evans was a fellow Gryffindor who James found quite annoying as well as the Slytherin boy she was always hanging out with. “She called me a ‘ _pompous git’_ , just because I was explaining my hair routine to Pete, _who asked_ by the way.” 

Sirius let out a dry laugh and disconnected himself from Remus. 

“Merlin, she’s annoying, she interrupts everyone’s conversations,” he grumbled, folding his arms.

“To be fair,” Remus interjected. “You _did_ insult her _only_ friend the first time you met her.” 

“ _And_ she only interrupts _you_ ,” Sirius added, grinning as James looked betrayed. “She never interrupts _anyone_ else, unless she’s correcting them.”

“Which is none if her business,” James protested. “If someone’s incorrect, she doesn’t _need_ to correct them.”

Remus shrugged, smiling. “I don’t think she’s that bad, I think you’re upset because she'd rather be friends with Snape than with you,” he said, looking at Sirius with an amused grin. Sirius bit back a laugh as James opened and closed his mouth. 

“Remus has a point,” Sirius grinned. 

James glared non-threateningly at Sirius who shrugged. “Have you started the Potions homework yet?” he asked, electing to ignore them both. 

“I have,” Sirius said, rifling through his desk. “I did it yesterday,” he said smugly, showing off his foot of parchment. 

Remus rolled his eyes and James groaned. “I tried, but I got, distracted,” Remus muttered, his face going red.

“You mean you stayed up till midnight read the Grimm fairy tales again?” Sirius asked, amused. Remus nodded sheepishly. 

“I didn’t even understand it in the lesson,” James sighed. “My dad makes Potions look so easy,” he muttered. 

“I can give you mine later,” Sirius offered and Remus lightly whacked him on the shoulder. “Ow, I was going to offer it to you too you know,” he pouted, rubbing his shoulder. 

“How about you help him instead of letting him copy you?” Remus suggested. 

Sirius shook his head. “I’m awful at teaching, and we’d get distracted,” he pointed out, and James nodded. 

“Wasn’t it just yesterday you left us alone and Sirius got stuck onto of the wardrobe?” James asked Sirius who scrunched his face in thought.

“No that was last week, yesterday we broke the beds because you said you could jump higher than me and we all knew that was a lie,” Sirius grin as Remus sighed at them both. “You could always help him Re,” Sirius suggested, and Remus' nose scrunched at the nickname. 

“I can’t, not this week,” he paused, the other two looking at him expectantly and he sighed. “I have, stuff.” 

The other two raised their eyebrows at each other. “Sure Lupin, stuff,” James said. Neither of them pushed him to explain himself. 

Sirius had an idea. “You could always ask Evans,” he suggested with a sly smirk. He saw Remus' shoulders relax as the attention diverted from him back to James.

James groaned. “ _Merlin_ no,” he said, hitting the back of his head against one of the posts of Sirius' bed. 

The three continued to talk, acting as a great distraction for Sirius, who eventually couldn’t stop grinning – he had friends, real friends who cared for him. They’d only known each other for two weeks and he hoped they’d continue to be friends throughout Hogwarts. 


End file.
